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November 2, 2020November 7, 2020
by Tricia Bleavins

I think we can all agree that 2020 has been one heck of a year. COVID-19, riots, the election, and more, have played havok on my stress, anxiety and depression. I have tried to keep thinking positive and have tried to not let all this 2020 “mess” get to me. Normally, during Nevember, I try to write down something that I am thankful for, and this year I have decided to share those things with you.

Day 1: 11/01/2020: Today I am thankful for my family. This year has been tough on us, but we have stuck together and been there for each other.

Day 2: 11/02/2020: Today I am thankful for my faith. I have done a lot of praying this year. This has helped me, especially my depression. “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” Phillipians 4:13.

Day 3: 11/3/2020: Today is Election Day, and I am thankful that I have the right to vote. My candidates may not always win, but at least I have the ability to choose.

Day 4: 11/4/2020: Today I am thankful for silly times with my son. We find laughter in a lot of things.

Day 5: 11/5/2020: Today I am thankful for chilly mornings and hot coffee.

Day 6: 11/6/2020: Today I am thankful that I could open the windows and let fresh air in the house. My cat also appreciated the open windows. He sat in the window and sniffed … and sniffed … and sniffed … and then sneezed.

Day 7: 11/7/2020: Today I am thankful for coffee. Coffee makes my world go around. I am a coffee hound, although I don’t drink as much (in a day) as I have in the past. I used to drink it all hours of the day.

Just thoughts about life

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October 4, 2018January 25, 2019
by Tricia Bleavins

Those are the hardest words to hear when you are looking for a job. Unfortunately I hear those words a lot these days. I have the education and experience, but I hear that I am not qualified. The truth of the matter is that most employers see me as a liability because of my disability. They of course can’t say that they don’t want to hire me because I am in a wheelchair because they would have a lawsuit on their hands. Instead they say “Sorry, you don’t meet the qualifications.” Sometimes I am told that I am overqualified. More times than not I don’t hear anything. The sad part is that I know I am not the only one that has had this happen. There are many of us that have the desire to do a job, but because of a disability we are denied the chance.

In 2012 I was advised to use a wheelchair if I was going to be out in public for long periods. Thus far I have been fortunate enough to only have to use a cane at home. It’s been a very tough road trying to get employment, I’ve been unemployed for almost 5 years now. One that keeps me going is knowing that I’m not the only one dealing with this issue. The really sad part is that employers are missing out on some awesome employees by not giving us a chance.

My life

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October 4, 2018January 25, 2019
by Tricia Bleavins

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When you have depression, getting out of bed can be a real chore. You just don’t want to move. I know for me, my bed is my safe place away from the world. I used to “hide” in my safe place a lot, but now I do actually look forward to getting out of bed in the morning. This is because I love my mornings with Andy.

It starts with a nuzzle and a purr, or a soft paw on my cheek and a soft meow, or a “hop on mom” with him landing in the middle of my back, jolting me awake. These are just some of the ways that my fur-baby, Andy, wakes me up in the morning.

He then proceeds to get impatient until I am out of the bed. I head to the bathroom and he runs like a rocket to the kitchen. I giggle quietly, knowing that he will wonder why his human isn’t in the kitchen also. He then joins me in the bathroom and proceeds to “play” in the tub. We call it his skate park. He will chase his tail and make me laugh. Sometimes he chases my hand through shower curtain, or he plays with his rope.

Afterwards, we head to the kitchen together, Andy making sure he doesn’t lose me this time. I feed him and get him fresh water and make myself some coffee. I take my coffee and go sit on the couch and read my scriptures and then watch the morning news. By this time, Andy is done eating and decides that it is time for attention and he crawls up on my shoulder and starts to purr.

Of course, I must stop what I am doing and snuggle and pet him. I usually end up leaning my head back and closing my eyes and just enjoy the rhythm of his purring. He can easily put me to sleep with his “purr therapy”, and we have been known to nap by accident. Andy makes is easy to get up in the morning and I look forward to that time with him. Mornings with Andy are the best way to start the day.

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June 4, 2018
by Tricia Bleavins

In On the Upbeat is my blog about living with a disability while raising a son with ADHD and Asperger’s and staying upbeat through the whole process. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Staying upbeat should be pretty easy right? Believe me … my life is far from simple and easy.

I was born with scoliosis, which is curvature of the spine. This made for an interesting childhood with the “not a wise choice with your back” statement made by my parents quite a few times while I was growing up. Now as an adult I not only have the scoliosis to contend with, but also spinal arthritis, spinal stenosis and degenerative disc disease. I live with excruciating pain, muscle weakness and mobility issues. Oh and add major depression and diabetic neuropathy to the list of diagnoses that I have. It is enough to make you cry, literally.

That’s one half of my world, the other half is a handsome young man, my son. He has ADHD and Asperger’s and boy if that isn’t a wild combination. He makes me want to pull my hair out one minute and he has me laughing my head off the next.

One thing I would like to point out is that I am not intending for this blog to become a “pity me” rant. I know that I am not the only one going through this situation and I hope that by my discussing how I am dealing with it, will help others.

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